Broken News - News, the Broken Variety: Tick Tick Ticker

News, the Broken Variety: Tick Tick Ticker

by Cauldron Larynx

Tick Tick Ticker, Cold Market, Colder Idea

So how is YOUR 2008 treating you? Pretty rough, eh? The stock market
got you down? Lost 40% of your portfolio the last couple weeks?
Well, at least you have your health. Too bad the cost of health care
is going up this year. And next. And next. And next and as a
percentage of the whole it will go up more than your income. But
perhaps you own your home. Oh wait, the value on that has plummeted
as well! Shoot, sorry to hear that. Ok then maybe you don't own your
home? How do you like that hike in rent, flushing even more of your
money to someone else and getting zero in return? Gas prices. It is
getting MORE expensive for you to drive to work everyday, yet when you
get there, you are making less. Plain unjust if you ask me. So what
is the solution? What will be the big money maker for you in 2008?
I'm talking about the greatest new invention on the planet. It will
revolutionize cooking as well as affiliate marketing. Everyone I have
spoken with is clamoring to get their hands on my newest invention.
Our call center is in place and designers are just about done with the
landing page. The product? A magical device, years in the making
that will FREEZE foods as fast as a microwave HEATS your meals... the
answer for 2008.... the MACROwave.

Time Date Stamp

Next idea. International dating for American men. Face it,
gentelmen. We're sick of whiny girls from the States. Always looking
for the richer man with the bigger wad and the bigger wang. We try
and make em happy, but it just won't happen. They're all drugged up
and all of their dads cheated on their moms when they were twelve and
now here we are in our 20's, 30's and 40's paying the price. "I
wasn't the one who cheated on your mom, so why the hell you freaking
on me?!" The point of all this is, more and more of my friends have
become enamored with women from other Countries. Not women from other
Countries who come here, because it takes a lot less time than you
think for them to become "Americanized" and caught up in all the bling
and hype. Here's what we need- an international dating site of women
from other Countries who speak English. That way, we can contact
them, write to them, and then visit them in their homeland and write
the trip off as a "business expense." I mean I was investigating
different call center opportunities in Brazil and Thailand, how is
that not business?

Fix-Me-Upper

Other than my two brilliant inventions and ideas that will take over
the affiliate marketing sector, there really isn't too much to be
excited about in 2008. Has anything revolutionary hit your radar?
Anything that's got you all juiced up? No. That's why, for my most
championed idea, here's what I have. Contact web sites who during the
early days managed to capture significant one word URLs. Isolate
Companies who own and operate sites with these URLs but whose landing
pages and content look like cat food- disgusting, unimpressive and
unaccomplished. Take an examples such as www.chocolate.com. Look at
that piece! And they are still using that wannabe standout, cliched
red font from 1997? Everyone loves chocolate. I'm going to grab a
piece right now and put it in my mouth for delectable satisfaction.
Contact these guys or hundreds others and make some coin by
overhauling their site for them, will ya?

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This episode of Broken News is brought to you by our trusted industry insider, Cauldron Larynx. Cauldron utilizes deep knowledge, deeper skills and deepest relationships to make up the most breaking and relevant news in the Affiliate Marketing sector

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