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Broken News
        

News, the Broken Variety: Candle Waxed
by Cauldron Larynx

Got Got?

Aren't you sick of "Got ?" shirts?  Yeah, me too.  This afternoon, I saw a guy walking with his daughter in a stroller, and his shirt read, "Got Posture?".  I overheard him speaking about his Yoga classes at the Siva Vedanta center or whatever, and it was a little much.  I was on my way to an Italian joint at the time.  Get a little rigatoni with marinara and what not.  Perhaps some parmesan because I like grated cheese.  Once I arrived and was seated, my waitress was sporting her black shirt with white writing.  "Got Pasta?".  A couple years ago I would have been amused, but I've really had enough.  I finished my lunch and walked outside, and a sassy girl was wearing a mid-drift with the following words.  "Got Rack?"  Yes, she had large breasts.  I love breasts as much as one man can, but I even felt that was uncooth.  In general I'm pretty conservative when it comes to dress, and surprisingly, provocative dress can turn me off.  I have seen women with large bosoms wearing low-cut "Got Milk?" shirts, and I actually think that's dirtier than the "Got Rack?" shirt.  Oh well.  So it is. Applicable to the affiliate marketing space how exactly?  How is this- what is your "got" of the day?  If you had to sport a "Got?" shirt, what would it be?  In fact, I'm 99 that I saw "Got?" shirts of some variety at Ad:Tech last week.  I think the natural evolution of this GOT fad is for the words to move to symbols or objects.  For instance, I know a few cats in our space who would readily brandish a, "Got *hundred dollar bill*?" shirt.  What I can say is that I am surprised I haven't seen a, "Got God?" shirt yet.

Candle Waxed

Candle Company, White Rabbit Inc has been promoting online for years, and every holiday season affiliate networks clamor to represent them. White Rabbit picks two networks per year to advertise their candle products, and every season two networks rise above the rest with tremendously profitable showings.  This year was no different, with the various firms hustling for representation.  Unfortunately, the leading distribution partner in 2007 will certainly be deemed an "unlucky recipient."  BX Networks sold a reported 10,000 candles for White Rabbit in October for Halloween.  These candles proved defective, as the wax was accidentally embedded with a composition that had a tendency to spark.  The sparking wax ignited a poor couple's home in Bergen County, NJ, burning down their house, killing two horses and melting countless gold chains and pinky rings.  Now BX and White Rabbit are being sued in excess of $10 million, waxing them good while they suffer a court injunction prohibiting them from selling White Rabbit Candles until 2009.

ehard botties

Prominent dating Company, www.ehardbodies.com has been overrun with fraud and scandal.  One of the strongest, ethically-driven and up-and-coming dating Companies in our industry is eHardBodies.  We all know that.  But what we didn't know until now is that a series of terrible-traffic driving publishers have programmed bots to compile thousands of ehardbodies dating profiles.  These publishers had insisted on being paid weekly, and were being done so, and the by the time the scrambling ehardbodies realized they had been "botted," they were out nearly $800,000.

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This episode of Broken News is brought to you by our trusted industry insider, Cauldron Larynx. Cauldron utilizes deep knowledge, deeper skills and deepest relationships to make up the most breaking and relevant news in the Affiliate Marketing sector
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