Broken News - News, the Broken Variety: Weather Allergies

News, the Broken Variety: Weather Allergies

by Cauldron Larynx

I know we're all stressed, slammed and spanked, but please CEASE the bad weather analogies. It is too much already, and I have friends who have been displaced, had their homes destroyed or worse. A couple years ago all of the partners and affiliates I had down South would always claim, "when it rains it pours" anytime they were having a bad day. That and, "like I've been hit by a hurricane" when I asked how they were doing. And what happened? Katrina swooped in and destroyed one of our Nation's most legendary cities. Our pals in Southern California, always with a dramatic flair have been claiming, "just putting out fires, man. Just busy putting out fires" anytime I inquire as to how their day is going. And what are they going through now? Literal fires burning up much of Los Angeles and San Diego counties. Awful. Anyone thinking of making any puns about typhoons, storms, lightning, tidal waves, earthquakes or tonados, please refrain. But jokes about Global Warming are okay, that is just a political ploy by Ms. Hillary and Professor Gore.

Monitoring the Monitors in the Halls

Remember in elementory school you had to raise your hand to go to the bathroom, and if approved to leave, you were issued a hall pass? Then once you got to the hall, there was a hall "monitor" who was monitoring the halls, ensuring only hall-pass holding kids were parading to the restroom? Are you beginning to feel that way at your place of employ? That you have sirens that monitor your bells that sound your alarms that trigger your blackberry that yields a series of beeps that indicates one of your sites or partner sites is compromised? There are so many beeps, chimes, whistles and sound-offs in ten minutes you'd think we were in the middle of an air raid. The only truly viable solution is actually MORE alerts, as the more alarming and frequent the alarms the more the President and/or business team will rail tech for letting a site be compromised, and the more they get railed one would like to believe the less it would happen in the future.

Lost Traffic Highways

The battle for the best ESP in the industry is heating up! Third party solutions have never been more active in their pursuit of new clients. Desperate to hit Q4 numbers, Companies who have traditionally deployed their email in-house and/or utilized a single outside ESP are now scrambling, looking for as many third party solutions as possible. Two, three, five, eight ESPs utilized by a single mailer is not uncommon in this market of decreasing inbox availability and diminishing margins. This has created significant market demand for solutions who can offer even a modicum of success. Digital Moses and I have hired four external ESPs simply to get this newsletter to the couple of people on our distribution list!

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This episode of Broken News is brought to you by our trusted industry insider, Cauldron Larynx. Cauldron utilizes deep knowledge, deeper skills and deepest relationships to make up the most breaking and relevant news in the Affiliate Marketing sector.

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