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News, the Broken Variety: Billz
by Cauldron Larynx

Billz

Lower My Bills and Countrywide are in a fierce war for who can spend
the most online in Q4.  The offline problems, mortgage defaults and
sub-prime fallout is apparently not affecting their web budgets.
NetMargin is actively representing both campaigns in all-out email
warfare.  They each started with a $10mm monthly online marketing
budget for Q4, but allegedly have been one-upping each other and
currently stand at $17mm each.  Networks are scrambling to get a piece
of these budgets, and the majority of conversions are coming through
"re-finance."  The sub-prime market has been taking a beating for
months, and reports tell us the worst will come in January 2008.  In
January, analysts determine the defaults will skyrocket to the highest
in nearly a decade, as many interest only loans are coming to a close
and the exposure will be greater than ever.  Despite the t's and c's
associated with the LMB and Countrywide email campaigns, affiliates
are clamoring to run both.

Dogz

PETA, animal fans, reasonable citizens and even football maniacs are
all part of the outcry against Quarterback Michael Vick.  The plea
bargain associated with the case against him would land Vick in jail
for a year, but that is not enough for affiliates.  Mailers, site
owners and contextual publishers are all rallying to run the newest
and hottest site on the net, www.vickletthedogsout.com.  The Vick dog
chew toys sent us reeling in delightful disbelief, but this "Convict
Vick" extravaganza is the hottest joint since the zips.  Mailers are
especially liking the fact that their users can, "buy a t-shirt or two
and proudly let the world know how you feel.  50% of the proceeds will
go towards the ASPCA and local animal shelters."  Publishers are
softees and philanthropists these days, and it seems like there is a
concerted effort amongst site owners to donate a portion of their
profits to efforts that improve society.  50% is absolutely
astonishing, as we say in the South, these guys must truly be "gold
souls."

Employeez

Congratulations to CPA Empire!  After a successful Breakaway
Conference 2007, they have just announced the hire of their 1,000th
affiliate manager.  They were stuck on 999 at the conclusion of their
conference, but they successfully came to terms with 13-year old
Harmony Zalebaum, who has been one of their primary ringtone
publishers.  He is going to continue to promote the CPA Empire private
label ringtones via his network of sites and ppc placements, while
also tapping into his circle of junior high peers whom own vast
inventory of their own.  Harmony is ecstatic to be a part of the team,
and vows to register "one billion ringtones" in Q4.

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Cauldron Larynx
DM Pimping

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