by Cauldron Larynx
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AzoogleAngles
Citing the need for "a shot of adrenaline", Azoogle decided to hire their first millionaire affiliate manager. After a series of panel
interviews and meetings with the executive team, AzoogleAds announced this morning they have hired Britney Spears to manage a large portion of their largest affiliates. Also responsible for "Business Development," Spears' claim to fame already appears to be, "crotch shots for traffic." Already half-way into her first day on the job, Spears has used such lines as, "I'm a slave for volume" and "Hit and Run my offers, sexy." Reports say she narrowly beat out Lindsay Lohan
for the position. However, Azoogle is thinking of hiring Lindsay as well, televising the exploits and going head-to-head with Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie on the farm playing with sheep or whatever they do.
We are all aware of the offline sub-prime woes, and many Agencies and networks have been hit hard the last couple months by online sub-prime problems as well. Thankfully, beginning October 1st, many prominent banks have promised to return budgets to online while offering credit cards that feature "zero up-front" costs. Users have unknowingly been jammed by initial charges as high as $159.95 in the past, but this is a practice that is now seen as unscrupulous and will be abandoned.
"Going forward, we have committed ourselves to bringing all-time value to our customer base. We are offering them a brand new card with no hidden fees that is actually FREE to activate. You got me? I said 'FREE' to activate."
An unnamed executive of a significant bank uttered that statement. We are skeptical, but with dialogue that powerful, how could you not believe the man? Hey, who is this "man"
in question? "Scribe! Get a name of our source when you have a second!"
Franchise Crock
In a report that has us reeling, it seems as if Franchise Gator has been fooling us for months. In a suit against Franchise Gator, Midas, Jody Maroni's sausages and TCBY yogurt are all suing the organization as well as parent Company, Aquantive for copyright infringement, falsification and embezzlement. It appears as if fake "host franchises" are acting in place of the real franchises, and Gator is running unapproved creative with arbitrary required investments!
Midas, Jody Maroni and TCBY are contending they have, "never heard of Franchise Gator," and we are waiting for other franchises to become aware and start to make their voices heard. These "hosts" have been buying the leads from Franchise Gator, then sending commercial email to the user as well as contacting them through their call center.
Thus, they obtain valuable credit card and personal information from them, pretending they are huge brand name Companies. The upsells at that juncture go on and on, some so scary I dare not mention them within the text of this article. "ZERO COST debit cards" as well as "Free golden retriever puppies" are words that have been thrown around.
Cauldron Larynx
DM Pimping
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