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News, the Broken Variety: Raid Warning
by Cauldron Larynx

RAID WARNING

Leaked to us by an insider's insider's inside man, the United States
Government is commissioning a private swat team for the distinct purpose
of raiding affiliate marketing Companies.  After the bewildering and violent
surprise attack on a prominent, Los Angeles-based organization last week,
Bush and Co. sees now as the time to strike.  They have not been able to enforce Can-Spam to the level of success that they would like, and the Postal Service continues to get hosed as they are raising stamp prices but being circumvented by online services such as eVite and standard day-to-day messaging.  We have seen some of the most prominent figures in our
industry slip out of trouble, but it is appearing that the FTC still wields more
power than MSN... for now.

Ad:Tech Suing Affiliate Summit

After the massive turnout for Affiliate Summit Miami and the lackluster showing
for Ad:Tech Chicago, Ad:Tech has announced they are "THIS close" to bringing
suit against the primary figures representing Affiliate Summit.  We have not
yet nailed how exactly how close "THIS" close is, but we are hearing a lawsuit is "near" imminent.  The case is to include, "patent infringement," "creating a hostile environment", and "illegal marketing tactics."  What all of these mean exactly remains unclear, but rumors have included Affiliate Summit reps throwing parties during Ad:Tech shows, seizing business cards of attendees and then SPAMming them!

Sweepstakes For Sweepstakes

The Companies who have battled for our traffic for years are now merging.  We have all looked to The Useful, Netblue, Hi-Speed and Webclients for a wide array of one-field offerings.  AdDrive's electronic one-fields from 2003 were hot, and they have maintained their Laptop presence during every season and through all the developments.  AdDrive, privately run and liking it that way, will remain an independent entity, but The Useful, Netblue [now a part of ConnexusCorp], Hi-Speed Media and Webclients [both now portions of behemoth Valueclick] are all joining forces to come out with a "MEGA OFFER" that they promise will dazzle affiliates.  This venture is said to impact nearly 300 employees across all the Companies, triggering immense cross-over and hundreds of layoffs.  Shoot, I guess there will be no more leveraging on our part as we shout during Christmas time, "but Hi-Speed has Toys 'R Us,
why can't YOU make Toys 'R Us??"

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Cauldron Larynx
DM Pimping

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