News, the Broken Variety: Robotic Issues

by Cauldron Larynx

Robotic Issues

A standout affiliate network has put themselves in a serious bind, and
all they did was try and be good citizens. They ran a "toys for tots"
type of promotion to help kids in need for Christmas. This
organization came up with an idea to buy thousands of robot dogs,
soldiers and "family units" and ship them to charities who specialize
in handing out gifts to poor children on Christmas Day. The plan went
terribly awry when the robots began attacking the volunteers who were
trying to package them. One witness said the electronic beasts,
"just... just came alive and began clawing at our eyes, biting our
necks and trying to shoot their fake guns." Now, the network in
question whose aim was to give children around the Country joy this
Christmas are now being faced with a massive lawsuit. The victims of
the attacks claim the network had partial knowledge of a "risk factor"
associated with purchasing these toys from an untested and at present
time unnamed overseas toy manufacturer.

Christmas Competition

The biggest mailers in the "Four Corners", San Francisco, Los Angeles,
New York and Boca Raton, are facing off for a "competition of
grandeur." They are vying for who can throw the most lavish and
outrageous Holiday party. Julio de Gasso, party planner for MTV's "My
Sweet Sixteen" participants dedicated himself to ensuring New York
took home the crown. Julio has been quoted, "I am Julio. I am the
party. I now bring the party to Net Margin and will see that they
seize the 'party of the year' award. Party. Julio. They go together
like Adam and Eve." Judges who attended all four parties will be
voting this Friday to determine the winner of the 2007 event. The
four Companies in question have vowed to make this competition an
annual trend, topping not only their challengers but their previous
year's festive achievements as well.

Write Me In The Morning

New York and Los Angeles media has been overflowing with news about
the Writers Strike over the last couple month. The revenue of
California has been hammered as thousands are without jobs and
millions are being lost by the day. It is not only an economic
predicament, but is leading the way for individuals in other
industries to make their voices heard and strike the streets alongside
the writers. In both Manhattan and LA, displeased sales associates
and affiliate managers working at ad agencies and networks are
beginning their "picket for justice." They claim they are unjustly
paid and their commission is not commensurate with the value they
bring to their Company. Interviews with these employees consist of
evidence that while their boss lounges around the water slides in
Atlantis for a supposed "cash advance seminar", they toil countless
hours cranking the revenue that keeps the place afloat.

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This episode of Broken News is brought to you by our trusted industry insider, Cauldron Larynx. Cauldron utilizes deep knowledge, deeper skills and deepest relationships to make up the most breaking and relevant news in the Affiliate Marketing sector

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